Eat baby eat!
Tobi was being a champ with the breastfeeding, then... He lost weight and we weighed before and after feeds to find out he is a wonderful faker. He sounded like he was eating but he was getting very little. So now we are back to a special bottle with a special nipple for cleft babies. He doesn't want to take it very well right now so we are working with a therapist. I really want him to take off with it because that is our ticket out of here.
Last night they put us in a rooming in room so he was able to stay the night with Matt and me. We were planning on going home today and got most everything done for that to happen. Then he lost weight. Today has been a really hard day for me. We have been in the NICU for 10 days now and I am going a little crazy. I haven't been able to go home yet even. I don't want to miss anything with him. If someone is going to fee him it is going to be me. If someone is going to take care of him it is going to be me. He is doing well we just need him to get the whole eating thing down. I am having a hard time giving up the breastfeeding thing. Anyone who knows me knows that this is a big deal for me. However, I am trying to focus on the fact that I have an absolutely gorgeous little boy. He is so perfect in every way. I have been super emotional today and have been crying a lot. Matt is being good about telling me it is okay to cry and letting me get all of my emotions out instead of holding them in. I don't know what I would do without him. He has definitely been my rock in all of this.
I am also missing Will like crazy. It isn't just the time being away from him now but it was the four weeks without him while my water was broke. I at least got to see him then. I just want my family to be together and healthy. So, whatever that takes to get us there I am willing to do. The staff here has been great and everyone has been pretty supportive but.. I want home. So we are here another day praying for the next. God is stretching and pulling me making me realize what matters in the end is loving my children, Him, and my family. The road we have traveled to have Tobi here has been a long one and I intend to enjoy every minute, and if not enjoy at least experience. This will be a time I can look back on and know it was the hardest thing I have ever done but I got through it. I will get through. It only makes me stronger, right?
Last night they put us in a rooming in room so he was able to stay the night with Matt and me. We were planning on going home today and got most everything done for that to happen. Then he lost weight. Today has been a really hard day for me. We have been in the NICU for 10 days now and I am going a little crazy. I haven't been able to go home yet even. I don't want to miss anything with him. If someone is going to fee him it is going to be me. If someone is going to take care of him it is going to be me. He is doing well we just need him to get the whole eating thing down. I am having a hard time giving up the breastfeeding thing. Anyone who knows me knows that this is a big deal for me. However, I am trying to focus on the fact that I have an absolutely gorgeous little boy. He is so perfect in every way. I have been super emotional today and have been crying a lot. Matt is being good about telling me it is okay to cry and letting me get all of my emotions out instead of holding them in. I don't know what I would do without him. He has definitely been my rock in all of this.
I am also missing Will like crazy. It isn't just the time being away from him now but it was the four weeks without him while my water was broke. I at least got to see him then. I just want my family to be together and healthy. So, whatever that takes to get us there I am willing to do. The staff here has been great and everyone has been pretty supportive but.. I want home. So we are here another day praying for the next. God is stretching and pulling me making me realize what matters in the end is loving my children, Him, and my family. The road we have traveled to have Tobi here has been a long one and I intend to enjoy every minute, and if not enjoy at least experience. This will be a time I can look back on and know it was the hardest thing I have ever done but I got through it. I will get through. It only makes me stronger, right?
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