Dare to Dream

I have been thinking a lot lately about my life and how thankful I am. I could go on and on and this week I will. But there is something more on my mind than thankfulness. (I know that sounds odd) Dreaming. And I don't mean dreaming while you are a sleep.

If you know me at all or have been around me much you know something about me. I dream. I don't just dream for the fun of it, although it is fun. I dream to make it a reality. I believe that God puts passions in each and every one of us. Something that is unique to our personality and individuality. In my opinion life is too short to not risk, to not go for what you want the most. If we are to live our lives "safely" then we will miss so much. I think back on all that I would have missed. I would never have gone to India on my own when I was 15 and I would have missed getting to know my God in a way that only happened in the middle of a mango field and a lot of red clay dirt. I would never have been able to witness a man showing me what Jesus was like in serving families in huts of Guatemala when I was 17. I would never have gone to Australia for 6 months and met some of the most wonderful people in my life, 13 of who I continue to keep in touch with regularly and who will always be dear to my heart. I would never have married the man I love at 19 and move to Fairbanks, AK, on an Air Force Base to boot, where I again met some of my dearest friends. We would not own the coffee shop and be making coffee for a living which has brought great customers and friends and has allowed me to stay home with my boys. I would not have my beautiful Will if we had not made our decision and flown down do Houston with nothing and not even our Home Study done. I would not have started my midwifery journey if I had not opened my heart up to an adorable little boy to have him taken away along with part of my heart. I would not have my Tobi without midwifery school and who knows what would have been if I had gone against my instinct and listened to doctors when I was pregnant with him. I would not have my own midwifery practice and be able to do it out of my home and with that I would not have my birth room if I had not looked at a shop full of "stuff" and thought we could make it into something beautiful. (after convincing Matt it was not totally insane) and… I would not have Bryson if I had not again opened my heart to the possibility of more heartache and instead I now have my beautiful baby boy who was born at home in that wonderful birth room.

And that's just so far…

I don't know what life would be like if we had not thrown all in and trusted God with what was to come. Now don't get me wrong. We have lost a lot of money, had a lot of heart ache, been up and down, wanted to give up, and told we were crazy and that it wouldn't work. Sometimes it hasn't worked but that just opened up something better that we would have missed. No, life isn't perfect, far from it actually, but that is what I love. It is our crazy wild mess and it is an adventure that God has given us. Don't be afraid to step out and do the things that you want the most and that scare you the most too. You may be surprised at what you find at the other side. You can always make more money and buy more things but you can never get back the things you get when you risk or the memories you never made. I always ask myself, "what am I afraid of?"