Hoping for more.
I always get a little intimidated by blogging. I feel like I never have anything I should put down and it doesn't come out the way that I wish it would. Nevertheless, here I am. I am reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan and I am really liking it. It is very convicting and has been making me think a lot about my views on the Holy Spirit. One of the things that hit me the most the other day was reading about the Fruits of the Spirit. How when we have the Holy Spirit in our lives the fruits are result of that. The thing that hit me is that the fruits that come from the Holy Spirit aren't because I have tried hard, or I happen to manifest them that day. When I think about fruit I don't think about how awesome it is that an apple can work hard enough to become an apple. It just happens by being on an apple tree. So that got me thinking, what are the fruits in my life? Love: hmmm... Joy: let's ask Will.... Peace: yah, um..... Patience: ouch! Kindness: well... Goodness: aren't we all good? =) Self control: what? I was quickly humbled and somewhat shamed. I would like to think that because I read my Bible and I love to sit in the presence of my awesome God that this is enough. But, then I look at my life, and I read this book.
I feel like I have been missing it. When was the last time I invited the Holy Spirit into my life other than when I feel I am in need? When did I allow myself to stop making spending time with the Lord my number one priority? When did I let go of the truth I hold dear? When did I last ask myself why the fruits of my flesh are more common in my life than the fruits of the Spirit? Reading over this list of "fruit" made me sadden and I started to beat myself up a bit. Then I felt the Spirit leading me saying that if I am walking in the Spirit and spending my time with Him then it is not something I mearly "do" it is something that I "am" because of what He pours into me. We cannot be both. I was reading the other day about good trees bearing good fruit and bad trees bearing bad fruit, I cannot control what fruit I bear but I can control what tree I am receiving my nutrition from. I use the excuse a lot about time and being a mom and things like that. Where they are legitimate, they are not excuses. I am a firm believer that a person makes time to do what if most important to them. Look at our lives. I look at mine and it is very clear. My priorities are not lined up the way they should be. I claim to love the Lord and to follow him with all my heart. Are my actions proving this? Do my children know this to be true? Does my husband, my family, the people in my life? There was a time where I could firmly say yes, and now I don't know if that is true.
I still love my Lord and I want to be walking in the Spirit, but wanting and doing are two different things. I am challenged to start doing what I want to do and begin to rearrange my priorites. I want the fruits in my life to be those of the Spirit where I can bring glory to my Father simply by living. I want nothing more than to have a husband that sees God in my life and children who want to follow Christ because they see their mother loving and living His truth. I know that I will fall and I will fail, but I also have the grace that God so lovingly gives day by day. His grace is enough for me and they are new every morning. He knows me too well. How amazing is this? Who am I but a servant of the most High God. So tomorrow when I wake I will chose to grab hold of that promise and immerse myself in the living water I get from the Spirit. He is full and enough for me.
I feel like I have been missing it. When was the last time I invited the Holy Spirit into my life other than when I feel I am in need? When did I allow myself to stop making spending time with the Lord my number one priority? When did I let go of the truth I hold dear? When did I last ask myself why the fruits of my flesh are more common in my life than the fruits of the Spirit? Reading over this list of "fruit" made me sadden and I started to beat myself up a bit. Then I felt the Spirit leading me saying that if I am walking in the Spirit and spending my time with Him then it is not something I mearly "do" it is something that I "am" because of what He pours into me. We cannot be both. I was reading the other day about good trees bearing good fruit and bad trees bearing bad fruit, I cannot control what fruit I bear but I can control what tree I am receiving my nutrition from. I use the excuse a lot about time and being a mom and things like that. Where they are legitimate, they are not excuses. I am a firm believer that a person makes time to do what if most important to them. Look at our lives. I look at mine and it is very clear. My priorities are not lined up the way they should be. I claim to love the Lord and to follow him with all my heart. Are my actions proving this? Do my children know this to be true? Does my husband, my family, the people in my life? There was a time where I could firmly say yes, and now I don't know if that is true.
I still love my Lord and I want to be walking in the Spirit, but wanting and doing are two different things. I am challenged to start doing what I want to do and begin to rearrange my priorites. I want the fruits in my life to be those of the Spirit where I can bring glory to my Father simply by living. I want nothing more than to have a husband that sees God in my life and children who want to follow Christ because they see their mother loving and living His truth. I know that I will fall and I will fail, but I also have the grace that God so lovingly gives day by day. His grace is enough for me and they are new every morning. He knows me too well. How amazing is this? Who am I but a servant of the most High God. So tomorrow when I wake I will chose to grab hold of that promise and immerse myself in the living water I get from the Spirit. He is full and enough for me.
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