Summer, and workin on the blog.
So, working on this blog is a time sucker. Something I don't have a lot of. So, while I pump and feed the wee one I worked on this thing. It isn't what I want but... it is getting there. I was doing it thinking, Why do I care about this? I guess it is just something fun. So, here is my new and improving blog. Well, the background anyway.
Matt and I just read Shepherding A Child's Heart: by Tedd Tripp. It was convicting and we have begun to change a lot of things in our home. Will is not liking the change at the moment. It is amazing how he has changed already and it has only been a week. Now, we need to keep it up. Doing this is making me realize more and more the reality of myself as a sinner. I could not nor do I dare want to, do this without the Lord. I am brought down to realize how I need to be in constant check with Him or I will fail my children. I know that this will happen no matter what, but I know that I cannot ask from them what I myself cannot do. I have allowed anger to enter my heart and I have taken it many times on my Will. Humbling oneself to that reality and asking a child for forgiveness for wrongs done is something that is difficult to do and yet so rewarding. Children are so gracious and forgiving. I have a lot to learn from them. =)
With all of this I have been thinking of myself as a mother and a midwife. I first am a mother and wife then a midwife, however, isn't there a balance between them? Do I have to completely let go of one to do the other? I will never allow my job to come in the way of my family but I also know that God has given me a heart and a calling to serve women. I am praying about this and what is next for us in this area. I feel I worked so hard and my sacrificed so much for me to obtain that CPM certification and I don't want to just hold it. I know that my children are only with me for but a moment and I will be a midwife forever so I am praying for guidance in this decision. There is comfort in knowing He already knows and I just need to leave it where it is best taken care of, in His hands.
I look at my boys and I am overwhelmed with them. They are on the outside almost as different as could be with Will's beautiful brown skin, dark crazy hair, big hazel eyes and small frame. Then there is Tobi's big feet, big hands, white as can be skin, blond fuzzy hair, and big blue eyes, and not so small frame. I am going to enjoy seeing those two grow together and become them men they will become. Will is constantly amazing me how much he is growing up and noticing the world. The other night we went on a little date and the barista was very pretty. We sit down and Will looks at me and say, "she is very beautiful, with her dark eyes, long brown hair, and her microphone in her ear." I smiled and thought how did he get so big. Then the other night he says to me, "Mama, will you teach me how to love a girl?" =) I pray for that sweetness to stay with him always. He can drive me crazy and push me like I have never been pushed, but how he brings such joy to my heart.
Matt and I just read Shepherding A Child's Heart: by Tedd Tripp. It was convicting and we have begun to change a lot of things in our home. Will is not liking the change at the moment. It is amazing how he has changed already and it has only been a week. Now, we need to keep it up. Doing this is making me realize more and more the reality of myself as a sinner. I could not nor do I dare want to, do this without the Lord. I am brought down to realize how I need to be in constant check with Him or I will fail my children. I know that this will happen no matter what, but I know that I cannot ask from them what I myself cannot do. I have allowed anger to enter my heart and I have taken it many times on my Will. Humbling oneself to that reality and asking a child for forgiveness for wrongs done is something that is difficult to do and yet so rewarding. Children are so gracious and forgiving. I have a lot to learn from them. =)
With all of this I have been thinking of myself as a mother and a midwife. I first am a mother and wife then a midwife, however, isn't there a balance between them? Do I have to completely let go of one to do the other? I will never allow my job to come in the way of my family but I also know that God has given me a heart and a calling to serve women. I am praying about this and what is next for us in this area. I feel I worked so hard and my sacrificed so much for me to obtain that CPM certification and I don't want to just hold it. I know that my children are only with me for but a moment and I will be a midwife forever so I am praying for guidance in this decision. There is comfort in knowing He already knows and I just need to leave it where it is best taken care of, in His hands.
I look at my boys and I am overwhelmed with them. They are on the outside almost as different as could be with Will's beautiful brown skin, dark crazy hair, big hazel eyes and small frame. Then there is Tobi's big feet, big hands, white as can be skin, blond fuzzy hair, and big blue eyes, and not so small frame. I am going to enjoy seeing those two grow together and become them men they will become. Will is constantly amazing me how much he is growing up and noticing the world. The other night we went on a little date and the barista was very pretty. We sit down and Will looks at me and say, "she is very beautiful, with her dark eyes, long brown hair, and her microphone in her ear." I smiled and thought how did he get so big. Then the other night he says to me, "Mama, will you teach me how to love a girl?" =) I pray for that sweetness to stay with him always. He can drive me crazy and push me like I have never been pushed, but how he brings such joy to my heart.
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