Fall? Really?

I am now going to attempt to catch up. Summer. There is no way I can say what all has happened this summer. Birth, babies, prenatals, birth, Michigan, babies, camping, birth... I have assisted well over 100 births and I had the priviledge of catching my first baby in August. I have loved it and struggled with it. Some things have also changed over the summer and I am taking some time off right now. I need to focus on my family and I felt God was asking me to step out and trust Him because I was putting midwifery above everything else. This has been the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, but I know that it is going to be the best thing that I have done. I stepped away the first of September and it has been bittersweet. Let me first back up.

In the end of May we all went out to Michigan for Jessica's (Matt's youngest sister) graduation party and to hang out with all the family. It was fun to see everyone, especially our two newest neices born in January.

June: It was a cooler start of summer and I was super busy so we didn't do a whole lot. Matt and I were able to get away for a weekend and we got to go up to Stanley, ID. We stayed at Redfish Lake which is so beautiful and we did a decent hike where I thought I would die and then we did nothing the rest of the time. It was great. That is the part of Idaho that I love so much. Stanley and Valdez have to be two of my favorite places ever.

July: I don't remember much of this month because it went so fast and again I was so busy. Will turned 4 and we had a fun little birthday thing in Garden Valley. He is too funny now and is growing so much. I can't believe that he is four. How did that happen? He is my joy in all that has gone on. I can't imagine what my life would be like without him. He learned to ride his bike without training wheels but he goes just way too fast and he tends to crash into walls or cars to stop. We also went to see a fertility specialist who was really great. We have some options we are praying about but, for right now we are focusing on what we have.

August: This was a hard month. This is when I really was contemplating what I should do with the Baby Place and my life and our family. God really brought to a place I have never been. It has been growing pains, but necessary. The highlight was definately my first catch. I fell in love with the family and I was able to do most of her prenatal care. I couldn't have asked for a better first experience. Birth is such a spiritual intimate thing that to be apart of if the way I have been blessed to be is such a gift. I feel that I was made to do this and this is also why I feel He has asked me to let it go for a bit. I have so often thought of it as my Isaac. I embraced it because it embraced me. When I stepped into my role as a midwife I was needed, wanted, loved and I could give all of me in a way that was so perfect. However, I had to come home. Things have fallen out of sorts and a lot of it is my fault because I was either too tired or just too lazy to want to deal with it. Well... now I am standing before it and I have to decide what I am going to do. I have brought my "Isaac" before Him but here is the next step of what I do with it. I have let fear drive me for so long that I don't know how to step away from that and live in the freedom that comes in His love and acceptance. So you can see how August was hard.

September:Will and I just spent the last week in California to see family and some good friends. It was fun to see my grandpa and for Will to see him and know who he is. He also was able to see his cousins and play with them. It was a good time for the two of us and for me to be with my mom too. (she was down there too) This week I was at a Midwifery conference for Idaho Midwives and it was really good. It was fun to meet women who I have heard so much about and to put faces with names. Now I don't know what I am going to be doing with myself. Maybe perfect my bread recipe. Which I am still having a heck of a time with. haha... My house was in desperate need of a thorough cleaning after a year of neglect. We sold our geese because we couldn't find someone to butcher them and... I let them become pets. oops. Duke and Ella went to a home with a pond. :) We still have most of the chickens and everyone else though.

I would appreciate prayers the next couple months because I have a lot I have to decide and to give to Him. Thank you for all of the prayers because they have been felt and much needed.

Love, the Idaho Taplins